WTF!?!?

Thank God they're having to pay up. People like this are so lost. When I forget for a minute the rage I felt while reading this, I actually began to feel sorry for the crazies. They haven't a clue. I wanna know what Bible they're reading to make them think that what they do is ok. I think it might be the 'Crazy Testament'. Don't know - don't care. I'm over it.

Pics

Landscaping sucks! This is me and my work girls after 12 straight hours of landscaping the office. I can't believe we could still smile after all of that. It was torture!!! But it looks fabulous :)

Oktoberfest baby!!!!!!

WE GOT A NEW CAMERA!!! My baby is so precious :)

Workout Routine

I thought ETK would be able to relate to this funny I received :)

This is dedicated to everyone who ever attempted to get into a regular workout routine.

Dear Diary,For my birthday this year, my daughter (the dear) purchased a week of personal training at the local health club for me.
Although I am still in great shape since being a high school football cheerleader 43 years ago, I decided it would be a good idea to go ahead and give it a try.
I called the club and made my reservations with a personal trainer named Belinda, who identified herself as a 26-year-old aerobics instructor and model for athletic clothing and swim wear.
My daughter seemed pleased with my enthusiasm to get started! The club encouraged me to keep a diary to chart my progress.

MONDAY:Started my day at 6:00 a.m. Tough to get out of bed, but found it was well worth it when I arrived at the health club to find Belinda waiting for me. She is something of a Greek goddess - with blonde hair, dancing eyes and a dazzling white smile. Woo-Hoo!! Belinda gave me a tour and showed me the machines. I enjoyed watching the skillful way in which she conducted her aerobics class after my workout today. Very inspiring! Belinda was encouraging as I did my sit-ups, although my gut was already aching from holding it in the whole time she was around. This is going to be a FANTASTIC week-!!

TUESDAY:I drank a whole pot of coffee, but I finally made it out the door. Belinda made me lie on my back and push a heavy iron bar into the air then she put weights on it! My legs were a little wobbly on the treadmill, but I made the full mile. Belinda's rewarding smile made it all worthwhile. I feel GREAT-!! It's a whole new life for me.

WEDNESDAY:The only way I can brush my teeth is by laying the toothbrush on the counter and moving my mouth back and forth over it. I believe I have a hernia in both pectorals. Driving was OK as long as I didn't try to steer or stop. I parked on top of a GEO in the club parking lot. Belinda was impatient with me, insisting that my screams bothered other club members. Her voice is a little too perky for early in the morning and when she scolds, she gets this nasally whines that is VERY annoying. My chest hurt when I got on the treadmill, so Belinda put me on the stair monster. Why the Hell would anyone invent a machine to simulate an activity rendered obsolete by elevators? Belinda told me it would help me get in shape and enjoy life. She said some other shit too.

THURSDAY:Belinda was waiting for me with her vampire-like teeth exposed as her thin, cruel lips were pulled back in a full snarl. I couldn't help being a half an hour late; it took me that long to tie my shoes. Belinda took me to work out with dumbbells. When she was not looking, I ran and hid in the restroom. She sent another skinny bitch to find me.Then, as punishment, she put me on the rowing machine -- which I sank.

FRIDAY:I hate that bitch Belinda more than any human being has ever hated any other human being in the history of the world. Stupid, skinny, anemic, anorexic little cheerleader. If there was a part of my body I could move without unbearable pain, I would beat her with it. Belinda wanted me to work on my triceps. I don't have any triceps! And if you don't want dents in the floor, don't hand me the damned barbells or anything that weighs more than a sandwich. The treadmill flung me off and I landed on a health and nutrition teacher. Why couldn't it have been someone softer, like the drama coach or the choir director?

SATURDAY:Belinda left a message on my answering machine in her grating, shrilly voice wondering why I did not show up today. Just hearing her made me want to smash the machine with my planner. However, I lacked the strength to even use the TV remote and ended up catching eleven straight hours of the Weather Channel.

SUNDAY:I'm having the Church van pick me up for services today so I can go and thank GOD that this week is over. I will also pray that next year my daughter (the little shit) will choose a gift for me that is fun -- like a root canal or a hysterectomy. I still say if God had wanted me to bend over, he would have sprinkled the floor with diamonds!!!

WE'RE IN!!!!!!!

WOOHOO!! We moved, we sweat, we moved some more, we sweat some more... did I mention we sweat? lol. It was crazy hot on Tuesday, but we made it :) Oh what trials we had though... let me tell ya!



For starters, our closing time was pushed back to 1pm because the title people hadn't finished their stuff... so we moved that morning before the close. We were pretty much done loading everything at 12:30 and still hadn't received a call saying how much we had to bring to closing (certified funds were needed). So we headed to the bank and just sat in the parking lot until we heard. Never heard. So J called them and they said we zeroed out and didn't have to bring any money! WOOHOO! That was awesome.



We get there at 1:10pm and waited... and waited.. and waited. Just after 2pm the 'closing room' was free and we started signing our lives away. We finished around 2:45 and our keys weren't there yet. So we waited... and waited.. and waited. about 30 minutes later they show up - but they won't give them to us yet!! The genesis funds' that were being wire transferred to the title people hadn't been received yet. They were transmitted 30 minutes prior, but hadn't been received. They would not give us the keys until they had their money and said it could take an hour or so. At this point we're pretty pissed. Poor Dad had been waiting in the parking lot of the condo watching the moving truck this whole time... so no one would steal anything of course. We said screw it and headed back to the condo where J and Dad were going to just head over to the house and wait on me to bring the keys. The lady called just as we pulled up to the condo and said our keys were ready. YAY!!!!



We got everything unloaded (well... J and Dad pretty much unloaded the truck) and try to hook up the fridge. The ice maker thing was all jacked up so they couldn't hook it up. Bummer! Ma showed up for a brief stint and then they had to bolt to miss the crazy storm that was moving in. We headed back to T town to turn the moving truck in and get J's truck from the condo. We couldn't find a flippin gas station that had diesel!!!! It was raining small children and there was no way were going to see anything at that point. So we said screw it. Bill me for the gas!



We grabbed a bite, J headed back to the house and I headed to Wal-mart for some provisions. I didn't get home until after 9pm and I was soooooo exhausted I just went to bed. LOL - pretty sad huh. That next morning our cable was to be hooked up along with the internet. The guy showed up a couple hours late, but at least he showed. I didn't have time to hook my computer up and hadn't picked up the computer desk from g-ma's house yet, so I couldn't test it and make sure it worked. Big mistake!



The washing machine and dryer were a challenge to hook up. The dryer was missing the power cord. So we went to Lowe's to get that... as well as blinds for the house. Our house lady said we needed 3'x5' blinds (should have measured!!). We go by g-ma's to get the computer desk...lol... that was interesting. We get back to the house and J starts her hour long freak out with the dryer. The cord won't fit. Come to find out, the cord we bought was in the wrong spot on the shelf. It was for a range! So, I went to start on the blinds. Well - they were way too big! We gathered the blinds and the cord and headed back to Tulsa. We got 34" blinds this time and the correct cord for the dryer. Get back and find the 34" blinds are too small. uuugggghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh! There was no way I was going all the way back to Tulsa to get 35" blinds.



Thursday was not fun for me. I had to go to work on my day off :( The cheeses had called a meeting with my client for that day at 2pm. The head cheese called me at 8am that morning wanting me to come in right then so we could strategize. Oh good lord above. Is there anything else I can do for these people on my vacation day? I got to work at like 10:30 and didn't get home until almost 4pm. My whole day shot! I did manage to exchange the blinds again and got the 35"ers. J started hanging them and found that one of the boxes didn't have the hardware... and then found that one of the boxes had the wrong size inside. It said 35" but was at least 36". UGH! I hate blinds!!!!! They are evil! Her art room still doesn't have blinds up.



J's co-worker came by to see our new place and helped Jeanne hook up the ice maker. That was an ordeal!!! It took them a while but they did it :) Unfortunately later on that night (1am to be exact), I walked into the kitchen to find water shooting out from behind the fridge. The flippin hose had come off!!! I panicked and got J from the tub where she had just sat down... I couldn't remember where the water shut-off valve was. She found it and we started mopping up the water. Could anything else go wrong? Oh yeah... the cable wasn't hooked up right and the internet didn't work. I found out today that the dude who hooked everything up did it half-ass. Well the guy today said it was half-ass. He fixed me up and now I have my precious internet!!!! You try going a week without and see if you don't start pulling your eyebrow hairs out. I might start a new fad.



We're pretty much unpacked. There are only a couple boxes in the garage and some things that need to go up in the attic. We need a ladder first. I forgot to get one from Dad :( Bummer.



But the house is beautiful!!! I love the new house smell. Oh... I think I'm channeling Ma. I spilled coke on the new carpet today! Thankfully it was watered down so I don't think it's going to stain. J's sleeping so she has no clue what I did. Maybe I can keep it a secret? Doubtful... she reads my blog sometimes :)


I hope everyone had a great week... more pics to come :)