Straight jacket police... keep on walking!

Let me just preface this long exhausting story by saying that I am not crazy! You'll see...

The parts department at our local Mazda dealership and the body shop fuckers think I'm a stankin loon!

Why you may ask? Let's just say when I dropped my car off to get a new bumper put on it (from being rear-ended late last year), I had duel exhaust. When I picked up my car, I had single exhaust. I didn't notice this until last weekend... I'm that observant. I called the body shop and told them what was up and pretty much accused his people of being shady and putting the wrong bumper on. He called the Mazda people and asked if they sent the wrong bumper according to my VIN number and they said no - it wasn't possible. He told me to bring my car in and he'd take a picture and show Mazda... if in fact I was right. I showed up and when they went to take a picture the dude looked under my car and told me I have single exhaust, there is no exhaust pipe on the right side of my car (like there used to be). "Um... I had duel exhaust when I dropped my car off, I'm not crazy." I was dumbfounded and left. They think I've just plum lost my ever lovin' gord. Even the girls at work - my BEST friends - thought I was huffin clue.

I had no clue why I no longer had duel exhaust, so I just assumed the bastards cut off my pipe because they ordered the wrong bumper or something and didn't want to eat the money and order the correct one. I got home later that day and looked under my car... no exhaust pipe and there was no place for the pipe to be. Am I crazy? Is this a conspiracy? Why would the body shop people change my exhaust system? What the fuck is going on here!!??

I was bound and determined to prove that I wasn't crazy. Yes, Punky believed me and said she remembered seeing my duel exhaust too. So, that did help. But I couldn't stand to have the 2% chance that I was certifiable. So... I remembered that I received a ticket from the turnpike authority 2 years ago for evading the toll (I didn't evade the toll... the damn machine ate my money and wouldn't give me a flippin green light so I said screw you and went on). I found my paper that had the picture of the back of my car. SHIT FUCK DAMN! The picture was in B&W and all you could really see was my license plate because the clarity sucked. That was no good! Brilliant me emailed the turnpike people and asked that they send me a color copy or at least a clear copy. Check this out - I got an email response back the following day and they are going to mail me the actual picture!! It will be in B&W, but at least it won't be a photo copy! How sweet is that. Hopefully that will prove to all the bitches out there who don't believe a fucking word I say!

After searching on the internet trying to plug my VIN number anywhere that would accept it, I didn't find any records of my car showing the nitty-gritty stats. So, I called the Mazda dealership. I was promptly transferred to the parts dept manager, who knew me by name (thanks to the body shop devil who I'm certain is trying to turn the world against me). He was very patient with me and was trying not to laugh when he told me that Mazda 3's have NEVER been made with duel exhaust. WTF! Give me an answer I can use here. He said he would check back in the records of when I bought my car to see if the previous owner tricked out my car. It was possible he said. He later called and said there was no record of anything being modified.

Well... I did more searching on the net and found that some idiots like to put a fake exhaust pipe on the back of cars to make them look cooler. Uh - who the fuck does that?? Why do those stupid fuckers do that? Why do those fuckers want to make me look like an idiot to dozens of people? That has to be it! There is no other explanation for having 2 exhaust pipes on my car to having only one.

My question is... when the fuckers at the body shop took my old bumper off and went to put the new one on, did they not see the fake pipe and the bumper cut out where the pipe was? Did they not see that some idiot did a custom job and added some flare to an already cool car? I know they saw it. They probably said well shit, we've already painted this bumper so maybe she won't notice since it's fake anyway. Sure as shit it took me 2 months to notice it. I'm going to wait on the pic from the turnpike people and take that in there. Make those sons of bitches put the same kind of bumper on. Who do they think they are messing with! I'll rip your damn balls off if you try to screw me! So there.

to be continued...

My Post Meme

This is the first I've heard of this, but since ETK is fabulous and tagged me, I will do my best to participate :)

It’s the My Post Meme!

**The Rules**
Post about the meme and link back to the person who tagged you.Go back through your archives and link to your five favorite posts.*Link One: must be about family.*Link Two: must be about friends*Link Three: must be about yourself*Link Four: must be about something you love*Link Five: can be anything you choose.Tag 5 other people (2 being people you would like to get to know better)Here goes:

• FAMILY: I love pictures!! Every one of these has some family in them.
• FRIENDS: I write about my friends all the time, so it's hard to pick one. I guess my fav is from Paint Ball. Even though they're my co-workers, they're also my best friends. Well... some of them.
• ME: I just like to brag :)
• SOMETHING I LOVE: Christmas... duh!
• ANYTHING: In case you forget what I do for a living, let's go back a bit and revisit it shall we :)

That about sums it up. My turn to tag 5 people, including 2 I want to get to know better. Ok well since I only have like 4 people on my list and I was tagged by one of them, I have 3 choices left. Am I lame or what!!!!!!

1. Alli
2. Mom
3. Melissa

I won't get offended if you don't do this - not to worry :)

Gyno letter gone wrong!

My precious little Punky went to the gyno a couple weeks ago for her normal yearly visit. All was normal until she got a letter from her dr (my dr too!) saying thank you for choosing him, thanks to 'me' for referring her to him, let him know if she has any questions about what they discussed, and he will visit with her again next time about the warts. Um... warts? They never talked about anything while she was there, let alone warts. So... she freaked out thinking he saw warts while he was down there and didn't tell her. I assured her there were no such warts. Poor Punky! My questions is... how the hell did he get her confused with someone else??? That's just wrong. She was totally panicked!!! She called the dr's office and let the receptionist know that he got her information wrong. All she could say was I'll let him know to change his file. Good lord. Is this the gyno I want to go to again??? Maybe I'll end up getting a case of the crabs while I'm there.

Disgruntled CEO

We have quite the entertaining boss!! He was playing with his new camera on his computer and came up with this. It might not be funny to outside viewers, but we all cracked up!! :) Enjoy!

The Babies

Punky and I went to bro's house tonight and got some cute shots of the little ones. I wanted to take one home so bad. Their eyes are still closed, which makes them even that much cuter. They kept crawling in the wrong direction - poor things lol. Mama Celene is VERY protective I tell ya. Every time I would hold one, she would be right there next to me and wouldn't let them out of her sight. It was the cutest thing! I guess I've never seen a mama and her cubs before. It's a sight to see :) The funny thing is, they are the size that Pebbles was at 3 months old. I don't know how Celene popped them out without fainting!

New Toy

Ok so I'm not as cool as most people in the world who have IPODs, but I got an MP3 player today. YAY! I've been wanting one so I can walk around the neighborhood and have some entertainment. It was only $30 and holds like 300 songs! Sweet :)

I'm cheating on my diet :( I got this new thing called Wu-Yi Tea. It's some fabulous Chinese Tea that's supposed to help me in my weight loss campaign. I got a 2 week free supply from the manuf, so I'm not out anything if it doesn't help. If I was one who could swallow pills, I'd be on everything invented, but alas I have to resort to tasting my formulas. Let's hope it's not too terrible.

We sold Ma's dining room set today to the cutest old lady..lol. She came with her daughter and son-in-law and they whisked it away. Can I get an Amen?!

Ding Dong...

The Witch is FIRED!!!!!!!!!! :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :)

I got a call today from my girls at work and the deed is done. I just wish I could have been there to tell the cheeses everything. AS took care of me though - she passed along everything I would have. It looks like the only thing left to do is to pop the cork off of my fabulous bottle of cheap wine and enjoy the night.

Almost there...

One more day and hopefully Ma's dinette set will be sold. Craig's List just might pay off afterall :) Keep your fingers crossed!!!!!!!!

On the darker side... let me preface this by saying I know it's not good to talk about work related things on the internet... you never know who could read it. But in this case, I really don't care.

I put in for a vacation day tomorrow. A much needed one at that. It's been brutal at work as of late. We have to work with a person that the entire company wants out ... but the cheeses have no idea. That's the delima. Do we act like babies and go rat her out, or just let her hang herself by her stringy hair? Such decisions. We know she won't last much longer, but the wait is killing us and she's pulling a good one over on the cheeses. I swear she's a con artist. Yesterday was the best day and worst day for us. She was fired, and then re-hired 2 hours later. I can't remember the last time I felt as good as I did when I heard she was fired. But the second I saw her trashy ass walking around the office and was told she was re-hired, I wanted to cry. It's that bad! No one knows why she was re-hired and it drives us crazy trying to rationalize it. It doesn't bother me so much that she's white trash or a crack head/dealer (literally). I can deal with that. What bothers me is that she lies and lies and spreads rumors and lies some more. She even believes the lies she tells and gets mad at us over something that she fabricated on her own. How crazy is that?

I've been talking with Punky about this a lot lately... well since she started working with us in December. We all got along great with her when she started. Then came our Christmas party. She showed her true colors that night and crossed the line several times with many different staff members, and even with Punky. Punky was so uncomfortable about the situation, she went home after the dinner and didn't go out with us because she was going to be there. It took days to talk Punky in to coming and then this BITCH ruined our night. Ever since then she's been like the fucking plague to me. A couple weeks ago it came to a head and I blew up at her, with excellent reason of course provoked by her nasty fake grill of a mouth. I've never been so angry at someone in my life - I shit you not! Keep this in mind... she's 42 years old. I won't go through the whole ordeal now, but I had to point my finger at her and tell her to get out of my office 4 TIMES with the meanest look my face could possibly conjure and the most pissed off voice I've ever heard come out of my mouth - teeth clinched and all! She laughed at me, waved, and said "You'd better get used to me coming in and out of your office missy cause I'm not going anywhere." That of course didn't help matters. She spread rumors like crazy about what happened, none of them were even close to the truth. It took her a week to apologize, and she sent me an email with the apology attached in a Word document. Uh... can you say chicken shit? I was all prepared to let it go, but she started more shit this past week and now IT'S ON BITCH! So help me she will be gone.

Pfew... that feels better :)

Hair crisis

It's official. I hate my hair! I showed the girls at work some old pics and everyone raved about my hair when it was blonde a few years ago. They actually said I looked HOT! lol. I wouldn't go that far, but I've decided to dye my hair this spring, or at least do some serious white blonde streeks. I'm excited! This brown crap has got to go!

If the unemployment rate got any worse I think I would be out of a job. It's rediculous how slow the industry is and has been for the past couple months. I never thought I would say that I'm bored at work, but I am. There's nothing for me to do and I am going crazy!!!!! We're all going crazy. I've been toying with the idea of getting a second job... just something at night and on weekends at the new Wal-Mart that's going up in Coweta. All I do when I get home is make dinner, watch some TV, and play on this computer, so I might as well be making some extra money. More on that later. Still haven't talked myself into it fully yet.

Cubs

Bro's wolf Celene had her cubs today :) She had 8 of them! Holey cow!!! Wolves usually have 3-4 on their first litter. Here's a pic of her all preggers. When Punky and I went to visit on Saturday her belly was even bigger. She was having a hard time standing and just wanted to lay down... poor thing. She had 1 white one and the rest look like Gabriel. I'm going over there this weekend, so more pics to come :)

WAY old school!!!

Talk about ages ago!!! This was from... either 1991 or 1992 (I was in 8th grade). Don't laugh too hard!

I love Hockey!

It's been almost 8 years since I saw a Hockey game and OMG I forgot how much I love it! An astranged co-worker BC won tickets to the Oilers hockey game tonight and couldn't go. So - me and AS took them... lucky us! We had a blast... and we won! The Oilers NEVER win..lol. We're good omens.

I know you travelers of the world would love this little travel challenge game I got from our sales gal. I'm completely addicted. I sware I've played it at least 30 times tonight. I just can't remember where all of the stankin countries are and it's driving me bonkers. UGH! Why didn't I pay attention in World Geography??? I did a semester report on Poland, so I knew right were Warsaw was :) Yay for me. The other ones... a little sketchy.

I have high hopes for my productivity this weekend.

• I'm going to start my exercise regimin by walking around our entire housing edition. I'm a little bummed that I don't have an IPOD or headphones. Nada :( Hopefully the birds will be chirping for my entertainment.
• Rearrange our living room. Punky's recliner is in the worst spot in the house so I thought I would fix that problem. Me and Ma have a thing about rearranging.
• Give the house a good scrubbin. Punky cleans the house every day, but we usually forget the little things like the baseboards and stuff. The norm.
• File all my papers/bills that I have stuffed into a drawer. Shamy!!
• Go grocery shopping. That's actually my #1 priority. Good lordy we have no food in the house. I had to bring home dinner today for Punky or else she would have starved.

Let's hope I can stick to my plan and earn my keep :)

*** Why isn't spell check working? It didn't work yesterday either. Is anyone else having this problem?

Food is the ENEMY!

My co-worker AS and I are having a weight loss contest. We have 6 weeks to lose as much weight as we can (healthy of course). The one with the least amount of weight loss has to be the others weekend slave. That WILL NOT be me!

I had an epiphony tonight. I don't know why I never let this sink in before, but food is not fun. Food is not entertainment. Food will not take my problems away. Food will not make me happy. Food keeps me alive. Peroid. So... I need to reprogram my brain and that's going to be hard. But I know it has to be done. I HATE that I crave chocolate and cake and ice cream and all that junk food. UGH! Doom on the chocolate creators!

I'm struggling with being a vegetarian while dieting. Since my range of food choices are salad... and vegetables... and salad, I'm pretty much screwed. All of the other good-for-you vegetarian foods I don't like. If I keep going with this I will get sick of eating salad and I will binge on chocolate. That can not happen! Before when I would go on a diet, I would eat a small piece of lean chicken and a little bit of veggies with a glass of skim milk. That was easy and it filled me up and I didn't want to eat anything else afterwards. Now when I finish my measely dinner I crave something else. Such decisions....